How to deal with people affected by Good Girl Syndrome? Here's how to fix it?
People62.EU.ORG - For some people, the source of their happiness is being kind and pleasing to others. However, if things start to feel like demands, this may be a sign that you have Good girl syndrome . Good girl syndrome is an attitude when a woman forces herself to always be kind and please others, without thinking about her feelings or even her own rights.
It is not wrong for someone to always do good. In fact, doing good is a noble act that must be maintained. However, these actions to please other people can cause problems when they get out of control. That's what makes a woman suffer from Good girl syndrome ( good woman). This syndrome refers to an attitude that always wants to please and do good to others, but does not pay attention to their own feelings and rights. He agreed to every other person's request even though he was reluctant to do so.
According to a study conducted by Stanford University as quoted from Psychology Today, the word " Good Girl " used to name this syndrome is an adjective to describe a woman. Women are better known for their compassionate nature, warm, cheerful, soft-spoken, and loyal. Good girl syndrome is not far from the description of these qualities, so that when these traits dominate a person's mind, he cannot refuse any requests from other people to please him. The Good Girl Syndrome that this woman experiences often makes people with it heart-rending. He experiences mental stress and feels guilty when he refuses to help others. He didn't want to leave a bad impression of being an unpleasant person.
The characteristics of women who have Good Girl Syndrome are usually the fear of disappointing others, the fear of speaking so they don't hurt people, avoiding conflicts, obeying rules, and also finding it difficult to refuse other people's requests. So women with this attitude tend to avoid criticism, conflict, rejection, mistakes, and always play it safe.
Then, what are the characteristics of people who have Good girl syndrome ? Here is an explanation.
- Obsessed with being a good person
This trait may have been instilled since childhood through upbringing to always be a good person. It's just that this attitude is instilled excessively without the person being given the opportunity to refuse when he is actually in an impossible condition.
- Comparing with others in various actions
When affected by this syndrome, a person tends to like to compare his good deeds with others. He feels pressured to help but it makes other people dislike him.
- Doing everything neatly and perfectly
A perfectionist attitude will appear in people with Good girl syndrome . He wants to do anything without flaws.
- Have a desire to always live up to the expectations of others
People with Good girl syndrome , their minds cannot be separated from paying attention to expectations from their surroundings. He didn't want to disappoint the people who depended on him.
- Tend to play the role safely
The attitude that is often taken by people with Good girl syndrome is to act in conventional ways. That is, he tends not to be adventurous and do everything the way everyone else does. He is worried that he will get a bad label if he does what his heart says.
If you think you have this syndrome, fortunately there are things you can change. The key is to prioritize your own happiness. Here are the steps that can be followed:
- Live with your own goals and choices
Think about it, what you are going through right now is your own desire, or is it because of someone else? Carrying out other people's requests will never end, and will only cause feelings of disappointment that you will keep on your own again.
- Dare to clearly express your intentions and goals to others
If you're still afraid to express your emotions, present your arguments, let alone be afraid to simply say no, don't expect other people to respect you! You will actually be 'driven' by their expectations of what you have to do to make them happy.
- Slowly learning to be strong, but not rude
No longer being an overly good person doesn't mean you are a rude person or even a bad person. In fact, if someone judges like that, it means that person is a toxic person. As long as you are polite, considerate, and respectful appropriately, you are a strong person, not a brute.
When you have the courage to determine your goals, you will build a way and dare to express them to others. Later, you will start to be yourself while still respecting others.
So that's an explanation about Good girl syndrome, I hope this is useful.
